Sometimes we can surprise ourselves with what’s possible.
That niggling voice; ‘Who am I to do that?’, ‘As if I can pull that off’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’ve never done that before’, ‘This type of stuff is for other people, not me’ are just some of the voices I’ve had to negotiate with over the years.
Two months ago I had to silence those voices. I had to put the ego to one side, put away my pride.
The task was simple, but difficult if you get what I mean. Raise £200,000 for a years worth of treatment.
I had to put aside other people’s opinions too. ‘How the ***k will you get that?’ The silent words I could read on the faces of some.
Whether I achieved the goal or not was secondary. I had to try, to do my best, to ask for help like I’ve never asked in my entire life. And then see what happens.
My friend Ruhel a month earlier suggested we start a fundraising campaign. I was extremely uncomfortable about the idea. He was persistent. We had a meeting. I then sought advice from my imaam, for a religious opinion. I learnt it was my duty to seek treatment, if that means fundraising then so be it. Then the news from the NHS came through, they rejected funding the treatment. I had to make the uncomfortable, comfortable.
2 months on I’ve lost count as to the number of talks I’ve given, the meetings and events attended, the mosque collections, the miles travelled, the words written, the flyers distributed. I am blessed to have several mentors, coaches, wise people, and again there really is no count as to the number of hours spent with them either in person or over the phone.
I’ve had two appearances on TV, made it in my local newspaper, made it on an online publication for up and coming journalists. I’ve had a podcast interview with the awesome JP (Jean-Pierre De Villiers). I went live on Facebook a few times, uploaded videos, and have also had footage taken for a documentary in the making. I’m even in dialogue with my MP Keir Starmer about how to get the word out even more, because its not just about me.
I’ve lost the meaning of ‘my comfort zone’. There’s really no time to think.
There’s still a lot left ‘to do’. I am ‘being’ as much as I can in the process.
Although there have been so many challenges along the way. So many tears, so many hours awake at night, so much pain in several parts of my body, so many occasions when the Universe put up hurdles, each time testing my resolve requiring me to say “Yes to Life”, hurdling and hustling along the way.
Two months on, 27th June, we have started the treatment with 2 doses so far administered.
There have been thousands and thousands of people who have been part of my story, many of whom I will never meet personally or know of, but have contributed for which I am eternally grateful. Thank you to every one on #TeamMo none of the above possible without your love and support.